Well pets, we're here—that awkward hump between winter and spring breaks where the only thing that keeps us going is the promise of a beautiful week in the Bahamas a month away. But hopefully your weekly gossip will cheer you up. Also the sweet, sweet memories of Beyonce's thighs.
This weekend, one ZBT bro really fumbled the ball at their Super Bowl mixer. After getting lucky with a girl, the boy apparently got up to go to the bathroom, but it was already too late. His companion woke up to a pledge vigorously scrubbing the turd–stained carpet. Oh well, shit happens.
But Highbrow doesn't discriminate, we have more than just the scoop on your poop (like, the biz on your whizz). Sources say a Penn athlete has become notorious for wetting her boyfriend's sheets after getting a tad too inebriated. No word on how the boyfriend responds, but for her sake, we hope he's into water sports. Or at least rubber sheets.
In a classic "Parent Trap" mix–up, the Sammy fraternity got into some hijinks recently (and we aren't talking about Lindsay Lohan's latest DUI). Highbrow hears that one brother and pledge look strikingly alike, so much so that one Quakerette got them confused. It wasn't until the pledge denied any past affairs did the girl realize her fatal error: she had mistaken him for the brother she'd been with before. For more, tune in next week to Wife Swap: Fraternity Edition.
The walk to DRL is hard for all of us, especially when we’re in Theos. To ease the commute, one upperclassman made a pledge drive him to the ol’ Laboratories in a sophomore's expensive car. The nervous freshman ended up denting the vehicle in the process. The shocking accident had the sophomore wondering, “Dude, where’s my friend's car?” In the shop, because you’re a lazy dumbass.
