1. The sitcom kiss to end all sitcom kisses Last week, Nick and Jess kissed. And it was like a box of earth–shattering dynamite went off in a fireworks factory. Unexpectedly, Nick is the one who approaches the aftermath of the kiss like a crazy person, “panic moonwalking” away whenever Jess tries to talk to him. When the episode opens, he’s lying in bed and silently screaming (he spends a lot of this episode in physical pain, actually). Nick’s dance diversion tactics can only stall the subject for so long, and in the end they both have to admit that the kiss was mind–blowing. Jess tells Cece, “I felt like Scarlett O’Hara in a freaking curtain dress!” and Nick says it was “a damn fairy tale.”
2. Nick and Jess make a good strong table After running into each other at Cece’s “Indian Marriage Convention,” Nick and Jess are forced together in a team–building exercise where they have to construct a newspaper and tape table that can withstand the weight of a phone book. Even though they spend most of the game yelling at each other, they somehow magically make a paper table so solid it’s practically granite. The message: in sitcom–logic, if you’re awesome at angry problem– solving craftmaking or if you know your way around a hula hoop, you’re probably meant to be with whoever you’re standing next to. “Strong table, strong couple,” says the wise and very weird Indian lady who’s in charge of the convention. These two are built to last.
3. Dr. Handsome’s out of the picture now Whether you’re talking about looks or resumes, Nick just can’t compete with Sam. But once Sam finds out about the kiss and punches Nick in the throat, he’s out the door before you can say, “life–saving hottie,” leaving the stage wide open for Nick to sweep Jess off her feet.
4. Nick dances goofily for Jess Sad about losing Sam, Jess is crying on the couch to Taylor Swift when Nick tries to cheer her up. He’s not totally successful, but he does make himself look like an idiot just to make her laugh. That’s true love, in TV scripts and in life.
5. The almost second kiss Just before bed, Nick leans in for a hug—that becomes leaning in for a kiss—that becomes an awkward hug. Now that they’ve kissed and they know what it’s like, there are probably going to be a lot of near misses until they just shut up and make out already.
The Schmidt Douchebag Index: Low. Schmidt is bumbling and culturally tactless, but here it’s more endearing and less asshole. Except for the fact that he says, “Blamo, that happened” after sex with Cece.
