The lights are dim, the drinks are flowing and the music is blasting a lamentable combination of Top 40 and techno. Feeling the buzz of a vodka orange drank, you look around and — lo and behold! What a gorgeous piece of…architecture?
Sound familiar? Not quite? Well, when I venture into the increasingly frigid Saturday nights of autumn, I enjoy taking a moment to appreciate the majestic venues that house Penn's hormone–induced debauchery.
My fond appreciation of the architecture of frat houses dates back to my first NSO. A freshman sweating it out in the sauna–prison known as Hill, I quickly realized that I had played the housing lottery — and lost. As I drunkenly discussed Hill's Prius–sized rooms at a party with my roommate (shared misery and alcohol are the best catalysts for bonding), we noticed how sweet the house was, especially in comparison to our tiny dorm. From there, the obsession bloomed.
Admittedly, my fascination with frat architecture has probably led to a questionable decision or two. Sure, quiet and slightly creepy guy in the corner, you can “give me a tour!” I’m just dying to see the spiral oak staircases and the view from those bay windows. It’s all part of the college experience, right?
Still, this interest has also led to some valuable life skills. I have gained an adventuresome spirit, fearlessly exploring the unknown. What’s behind Door #1? Sure, it could be an overflowing bathroom, but it could also be a tastefully decorated room complete with a wood–burning fireplace. In addition, my ability to skillfully navigate a staircase strewn with spilled Natty Lites, pizza boxes, condom wrappers and vomit (true story) will serve me well if I am ever stranded in a field of land mines.
My point is this: next time you venture into a frat house looking for a wild night, take a moment to appreciate the house for its aesthetic qualities too, be they the winding staircases of Beta that become increasingly difficult to navigate after a few drinks or the kick–ass, albeit slightly pretentious, turrets of Castle. You just might learn something!
