Make a Friend: Just a normal Thursday night, folks. Definitely not a murder about to happen. "Today, I’ll be rolling and would like someone fun to walk me back from the Hospital of the University of Penn back to the gallery at Market East around 11:30. But I’d like to take it with a young stranger, female or male, so we can talk and laugh and it’ll be something cool you did today. NO SEX OR WEIRD THINGS. I just wanna hook up with a friend who will let me talk fast and maybe touch their hair. I doubt you have many other more interesting things to do today. Just no freaky old men please I just want a nice experience..someone to joke around with and we can tell our stories to each other or something."

Get a Shave: Lather up, boys! Need a trim? This guy’s got you covered. BYO razor! "Hey Penn swim team players. Do you need to get ready for the swim season with a body shave? Let me know. I can help with that."

Be a Muse: This Miss Sunshine Sparkle is just so full of life and glitter and rainbows. She just wants to take your picture and make some colorful memories. "Hello Philadelphia, I am a grad student at penn, and I am casting a net out to the fine citizens of philadelphia. I want to create photo adventures with you. Have any funny bizarre fantasies? Do you need something weird photographed? I’d love to take your picture! Looking for unique men and women of all ages. Get at me"