12:37 p.m.: Whoa, there are a lot of people here. I don’t do well in crowds, ready for awkwardness. 12:43 p.m.: We should probably look for free things, mainly food. 12:44 p.m.: Good thing I didn’t eat! Chips, pretzels, popcorn, sandwiches, empanadas! YES, YES A THOUSAND TIMES YES! 12:46 p.m.: Benny Frank impersonator...with a little too much lady lovin’ if you ask me. Sketch. 12:53 p.m.: Wait, I just pick any card and the West Philly Swingers will do whatever it said? Will great power comes great responsibility. 12:57 p.m.: Awkward loitering in big crowds. 12:58 p.m.: Whoa-oh, check you out Mask and Wig band. Get down with your bad self. 1:03 p.m.: Free Energy plays next but I really just thought they were giving something away. I am disappoint. 1:05 p.m.: This free megaphone is such a good chip/lollipop holder. 1:06 p.m.: God bless you pretzel line for being the shortest, but the sun is literally only beating in THIS spot! Class board giveth and class board taketh away. 1:07 p.m.: Why isn’t Kweder playing yet? And why isn’t he yelling obscenities at me through his mic? 1:10 p.m.: Surprise Rita’s Ice at the end of pretzel line! High five for larger portions! 1:15 p.m.: SO MUCH BRAIN FREEZE! THIS IS DEATH! 1:23 p.m.: Time to ride the gyrotron, I should have digested by the time it’s my turn. 1:29 p.m.: Oh no, so much nausea! This was not a good idea. Abort. Abort. 1:30 p.m.: Spotted: Little boy with a turtle balloon! Silly me only thought they made funky/tacky/Whoville hats. About to copycat a 7 year old, and proud of it! 1:47 p.m.: Time to face paint! It can be anything? Anything? I will accept nothing less than a kitty face. 1:47 p.m.: Tickles. Nope, itches. Am I moving too much? I feel like I’m moving too much. 1:48 p.m.: Just scratched my cheek, re-do it face painting slave! 1:48 p.m.: And now she’s stabbing my cheek with the brush. Hater. 1:52 p.m.: Let’s take cute selfies of my face paint! Photobooth, por favor! 1:54 p.m.: I look like Ke$ha in this picture, hot and dangerous. This place about to blow. 2:17 p.m.: Rock slide then Van Party? Let’s get this poppin’. 2:21 p.m.: I don’t think I would’ve had as much fun today if I wasn’t a four year old. Penn understands me.

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