Roommate Theft Hey, where’s the milk? Did you finish it again? Have you seen my wallet? Or the 20 bucks inside? Funny how the “A” rubbed off your AXO hoodie. Weird how it still has my XO crest.
Feelings No, I’m not mad. I’m furious. I’m glad we had this talk. Can I go to sleep now? Of course I’m not ignoring your texts! I’m just ignoring you.
Communal Space Hey, do you mind not putting your feet on the kitchen table? You’re tantalizing my repressed foot fetish. I kinda like the cereal boxes where they are. Because only I can reach them. Did you and Mark have sex in the shower? I may or may not have slipped on his cum.
Sharing Mmm… That smells delicious. Can I have some? Oh yeah, I love it when your boyfriend comes over. I just wish he wasn’t my ex. I didn’t want to watch my TV show that badly anyway. Wait, people still watch Gossip Girl?
Diversity Wow, you come from such an interesting culture. Your food smells like shit. I’m gay. But, don’t worry, I’m still not attracted to you. It’s so nice how close you are with your family. Does everyone in Georgia sext with their cousins?
