Highbrow just got into the frat of its dreams! But now we're getting our faces hazed off. :( But at least we're not alone…

Theos wasted no time in taking their new kids down a peg. One poor pledge visited Student Health where doctors found vinegar in his eye. Either he likes his Sweetgreen up close and personal or a pledging event went awry. We're also told the boys had a photoshoot with Tabard that involved flashing their family jewels on the porch of the girls' house. Hope it wasn't too cold out!

Highbrow also hears that one dove-ly sisterhood has gotten in on the action. Rumor has it that one new member was hospitalized after she had too much to drink at a pledging event. Relax, girls, and save the real hazing for Tabard.

Next time you're dodging people asking you for change on Walnut, take a closer look. We've caught word that AXO newbies have been strongly encouraged to dress up as homeless people and travel on razor scooters betweeen classes. Thankfully Mary–Kate and Ashley made the garbage bag look cool, though we're not sure the AXO girls quite pull it off.

Need a smoke? Lucky for you, Theta girls have been carrying around cigarettes and blunt wraps in case any of their chain–smoking sisters are in need. But we're sure that's not all the Theta babies have had to do. After all, where there's smoke, there's fire…

In non–pledging news, congrats to Kappa Sig, who recently had their probation lifted, after a long stint of being watched by OFSA. Party on, boys! But if you're smart, you won't celebrate by going twice as hard on your pledges. Well, you can, but if you do, we'll find out.

One major ass of a basketball player videotaped his lady–friend giving him head and shared the footage with his whole team. What a dick move! Pun intended.

Keep on keepin' on…