This article is a part of the the Fall 2011 Joke Issue: Real Housewives of 34th Street.
Keep track of your answers to these questions to find out!
1. What’s your favorite TV show? a. The OC b. CSI: NY c. Jersey Shore d. State of Georgia e. 90210
2. Which of these lines best captures your outlook on life? a. I am just your typical housewife; I am obsessed with being young. b. I run with a fabulous circle of people. c. If you’re gonna mess with my family, you mess with me. d. If it doesn’t make me money, I don’t do it. e. Here, it’s who you know, and I know everyone.
3. How do you deal with confrontation? a. Attempt to show emotion through the Botox b. Post a rumor on Page Six c. Knock over tables d. Tell it like it is e. Confrontation is for poor people
4. What’s something you can’t leave home without? a. Juicy tracksuit b. Satchels of gold c. Family d. Hairpiece e. Chihuahua in tote
5. What song plays when you enter the room? a. “My Humps” — Black Eyed Peas b. “Uptown Girl”— Billy Joel c. “Breaking Dishes” — Rihanna d. “Respect” — Aretha Franklin e. “Lifestyles of the Rich & the Famous” — Good Charlotte
6. If there were a Real Housewives movie, who would play you? a. Melinda Clarke b. Sarah Jessica Parker c. Edie Falco d. Tyler Perry e. Alicia Silverstone
7. Describe your husband in one word. a. Wealthy b. Wealthy c. Wealthy d. Wealthy e. Dead (but wealthy) MOSTLY As: Orange County: As the original in the Housewives, you’re as outdated as the Juicy velour tracksuits you wear. MOSTLY Bs: New York City: Between “mean–Tweeting” at your frenemies and shopping on Fifth Avenue, there’s no doubt that you’re in an Empire State of mind. MOSTLY Cs: New Jersey: Your family is as thick as thieves and you will protect each other until the end. MOSTLY Ds: Atlanta: As a Southern Belle, you’re never “tardy for the party” and life is all peaches and cream for you. MOSTLY Es: Beverly Hills: You’re a regular, strutting in your heels down the Boulevard of Broken Dreams, solving the national debt crisis one Fendi at a time.
