*This article is a part of the the Fall 2011 Joke Issue: Real Housewives of 34th Street.
Everyone has a role model. I have a whole town of them. When I’m feeling off my game, I turn to The Stepford Wives for a little dose of the three S’s: style, secrets and suburbia.
When an uptight busybody with a tragic haircut (Nicole Kidman) gets fired from her job, her husband (Matthew Broderick) suggests they pick up and move from Manhattan to Stepford, Connecticut for a little change of pace. The housewives of Stepford are everything that Joanna isn’t — well–groomed, friendly and feminine.
At first, Joanna feels out of place because of her bad hair and her monochrome wardrobe, but she quickly learns to embrace Stepford culture. She dyes her hair blonde and gets some new clothes that are way more flattering to her skin tone. There’s this one scene where she shows up at the grocery store for the first time with her new look and totally stops everyone in their tracks because she looks so amazing. I always get really emotional at that part.
Then there’s this weird robot thing that happens, but I never really pay attention to that stuff, since by that point I’m usually knee–deep in hair curlers trying to copy Nicole Kidman’s voluminous blonde ‘do. It really does wonders to soften her harsh bone structure.
The Stepford Wives is a really inspiring story about believing in yourself and knowing that you can be hot if you just put in a little effort. Joanna also learns a lot about the importance of family and being a good wife, even if Matthew Broderick is way too short for her. —Camille Grammer
