Dear Bandwidth Hogs, All you weepy–eyed girls streaming Dirty Dancing for the 12th time this week; all you hopelessly virgin boys trying to get lucky on Chat Roulette. Enough’s enough. While you may have opted to throw your GPAs to the wind, some of us are still trying to give this whole thing the good ol’ college try. Estimated download time for sample midterms: 43 minutes thanks to your exorbitant bandwidth use on our shared WiFi. I don’t care if Baby’s about to get cornered or if that (likely underage) girl is about to show you the swollen mosquito bites she calls tits. It’s 2:09 a.m. You can have the time of your life in the morning.
Still buffering, AirPennNet_Guest
P.S. Is the bleak promise of boobs really worth sifting through sweaty close–ups of registered sex offending cocks?
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