Girl in gym clothes 1: Wow, the new cancer transition center looks, like, super nice. Girl in gym clothes 2 [longingly]: Do you think they have a gym…?
SAE guy: I’m surrounded by chunky girls. I feel uncomfortable.
Sketchy guy at the bookstore: I have a girlfriend now! I found her online… and she goes to Temple… but still!
Guy on Locust: It’s your dog and it’s on Twitter and it’s following me.
Bro: Dude, I just tripped on so much Ibuprofen.
