12:06 p.m.: Arrive at Bodycombat® class slightly late. Almost punched in the face as I put my stuff down. Promising start.
12:07 p.m.: Struggle to find an open space on the floor; almost punched twice. Is this gonna be a theme?
12:08 p.m.: Situated next to a frail middle–aged lady. Might as well try to make myself look good.
12:11 p.m.: Right jab, roundhouse kick… this is some Jackie Chan shit right here.
12:15 p.m.: Okay, starting to break a sweat. This is a little intense, but nothing horrible.
12:16 p.m.: Why is the music changing? Techno remixes are never a good sign. Wait… this was all a warmup?!
12:17 p.m.: New routine: kick, turn, shuffle, side kick, shuffle punch, jab. I’ve made a terrible mistake.
12:23 p.m.: The cute assistant instructor laughs as he tells the next steps. So he’s a masochist. Awesome.
12:26 p.m.: New song choice. I think I’m getting the hang of this? #denial
12:28 p.m.: The back kick is introduced. I don’t have a good feeling about this one.
12:29 p.m.: I AM DYING. DYING. MY BUTT IS LITERALLY BURNING. AAAAHH!
12:30 p.m.: Temporarily remove myself from the class. Middle–aged lady is still going strong and is now looking extra–smug. Bitch.
12:32 p.m.: Why do butts have muscles anyway? It makes no sense.
12:33 p.m.: Force myself back onto the floor. Feeling oddly motivated. Weakness (see: butt) only makes you stronger!
12:37 p.m.: Side note: why did everyone bust out their best Under Armour spandex for this? Whatever — I’m totally rocking the oversized Skimmer t–shirt.
12:45 p.m.: Pirates of the Caribbean music plays. Are we sword fighting now? Sa–weet! Nope, just more punching. Hide my visible disappointment.
12:51 p.m.: I did it! I made it to the cool down! Never been more proud/disgustingly sweaty.
12:54 p.m.: Sweat in my eye = unexpected pain.
1:00 p.m.: And that’s a rap. Leave class with a sweat–stained shirt and a possibly strained muscle. Mission accomplished.
