Your Life At Penn

  You are on beer number two and feel a little bubbly..

You are sweating at the un-air-conditioned Penn Museum toga party.

The people you’ve met are amazing. So much better than the people (losers) you hung out with in high school.

Back door of Blarney’s.

You're a little bloated after Convocation desserts.

A thirteen year old pushed you and stole your phone.

You're finally free and have your eyes on the entire gymnastics team. You just wonder if you're flexible enough...

You used a barely passable passport copy to get into a half-empty Recess on a Wednesday night.

See? If you arrange the mouse traps like this, you hardly even notice they're there!

Waiting forever for a cab outside the quad.

A nice MERT fellow in a red polo escorted you home.

You fell into a kiddie pool of germy suds at a frat you can’t name.

You wish you had signed up for a pre-orientation program because they seem to know everyone and are all best friends.

Walk into Castle.

You know freshman year is going to be great, but right now, you’re lonely and it’s hard.

 

Text to Home Friend

  iImskh SOoo sj druoonk

  I WAS JUST DRY HUMPED BY A GODDESS

  I miss youuuuu.

    I’m at a real Irish pub!!

Totally gained the freshmen 15 LOL

  I lost my phone because I was mugged at gunpoint last night! Don’t call or text :(

I love you so much, baby. I'm counting the days until fall break.

  Totally got a fake already.

    Get me out of this rat infested jail cell.

    Living the city lyfe <3

  Guess who I got driven home by last night? Cops!

They even had a hottub...best night everrr!!!

  Stalk all my new Facebook friends and tell me who you think is hot.

    I miss you so bloody much.

There’s a girl here that looks like you and for some reason I thought it was you and almost gave her a hug but I don’t know her. Save me.