Facebook Profile
She has pictures of herself on a boat.
He has a picture of himself holding more than one drink at a time.
Penn T-Shirt in profile picture.
You can’t tell which person in the profile picture is your roommate.
Posted on your wall asking about the Penn Reading Project.
The most recent wall post is someone congratulating him/her on getting into Penn.
Thhey ttype lllike thiiisss :) <3
He or she is all over the Penn Class of 2015 Facebook group.
Relationship status is "It's Complicated".
Already has intended major and minor written.
She sent you a Facebook message asking for babyphotos for your "how would our children look roomie collage lol"
Profile picture in a bathing suit.
She just messaged you asking to coordinate bedspreads.
Has been at Penn since July and has already tagged you in muploads of your door.
Is Facebook friends with every freshman.
Profile picture is a cartoon character.
Is from New York City.
Keeps bragging about his/her fake ID.
"HMU" frequently makes an appearance in status updates.
What It Means For You
She will vomit all over your Sperrys. Twice.
He's internet-famous for his Call of Duty accomplishments.
Your freshman year roommate experience will be, in general, about average.
Will cry on phone to Mom and Dad when you are presumed to be asleep. Sadly, you won’t be. Might mistake you for asleep during other, more compromising times.
His or her entire year is going to be full of disappointments.
Business frat pledge.
Will try to hook up with every person on their hall. Oh, how they’ll try.
Good luck.
Your ratio of sexile to good night's rests increases exponentially.
Will finish the year with a major in secret spots to smoke in the quad and a minor in not showering.
She’ll throw out your Svedka Bottles and replace them with individually wrapped candies.
You'll end up taking care of him when he catches the flu, but he won't return the favor.
The bedspreads will be ruined when you come home wasted the night before her calculus midterm. Your friendship will go the way of the bedspreads.
Don't worry, once classes start your roommate will move into Huntsman.
He or she is going to make you help campaign for an unwinnable UA position.
You will be serenaded nightly by the sweet sounds of masturbation.
You better get used to the game of one-up-man-ship. From now on, nothing you say will be valid because you're a podunk from Bumblefuck, Who Gives A Shit.
Has read about this thing called "double fisting"; will lose shit on the first attempt to actually drink both cosmos.
There are zero redeeming traits to be found in this person. Start scoping out possible room exchanges now.
