Male student: Yeah, I hate Ego of the Week. It’s always like “I’m in Friars, and my dad is president of IBM and I can suck my own dick.” [Ed Note: If you actually know someone who can suck his own dick, let us know.]
Sweetgreen employee to coworker: Ohmygod could I have, like, a peanut butter froyo? Coworker, facetiously: I’m sorry sir, but we only serve one flavor of frozen yogurt.
Girl to friend: Let’s just order in Pod, sit in bed and Facebook stalk people.
Theos guy to SDT girl: It must be so hard to be “on–campus.”
Girl at Cosi: He said he was in Beta, but as soon as he took off his pants, I knew he was in Sammy or ZBT.
