SDT Girl #1: You’re going to be so constipated tomorrow from all that matzo. SDT Girl #2: Not true! I had matzo yesterday, and today I’ve been pooping like a queen.
Asian male student: If I was white, I’d get with the hottest Asian girls at Penn.
Freshman in McClelland: Every night I hear her fuck, and it’s like, if you have time to do that stuff, why don’t you study?
Sorority girl to friend: Don’t even worry about it; you are GASTRONOMICALLY cuter than her.
Theta sophomore: If he doesn't go to the gym, and he doesn't go downtown, how are you ever going to see him?
Freshman to alcohol monitor: You can’t write us up. We have recitation together. It will be social suicide for you. ?
