Last week, Supreme Leader (aka our father aka Kim Jung–not–so–ill–Il) of North Korea issued a public statement confirming long–standing rumors of Kim's budding friendship with Rules. Wiping tears from behind his funky shades (available at American Apparel or on manrepeller.com for $48), Kim announced that the relationship with Rules has allowed him to let his guard down (in a brief statement, Rules cited Kim's newfoundability to sleep without an M–16 in between his legs as an example of his progress, but we think he was just tryin’ it on for size), and more importantly, to reevaluate his definition of fun.
And then, in front of the entire North Korean nation (oddly only 27 people…), Kim broke out into a familiar friendship tune that he decreed would serve from then on as the anthem of the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea. “F is for fire that burns down the whole town, U is for Uranium — BOMBS, N is for North Koreeeaaa” he sang, “an outpost of tyranny! Yeah!”
