In case you find some downtime in between the mimosa–filled morning bashes and drunkorexic downtowns of the evening this weekend, Street beckons you to pull up a beanbag chair and turn on, tune in and drop out. While there’s no one movie guaranteed to lift you from your mid–afternoon slump, Street suggests a film for every altered state of mind — along with a few to avoid at all cost.
DRUNK
Watch: The Care Bears Movie Spring Fling can accurately be described as a weekend–long gradual regression to mental infancy. What better way to indulge your inner–toddler than to flip on some childhood favorites. Sure not to tax your drunken, feeble mind is The Care Bears Movie, a genius piece of cinematic artwork that even the booze–ridden stars of Celebrity Rehab could appreciate. Get ready for singing bears, candy colors and rainbows galore. Just make sure to have a bucket handy.
Avoid: Irreversible File this one under “movies to never watch, period.” Anyone who has ever had the misfortune of seeing this controversial French film knows that it’s nausea–inducing without the booze. The first five minutes, featuring a spinning point–of–view that swoops and whirls around an urban cityscape, will have you running to the bathroom before you can say “fire hydrant scene.” If you don’t know what we’re talking about, don’t look it up. Especially when you’re drunk.
HIGH
Watch: Spirited Away The Quad is smoke–free, but Fling certainly doesn’t have to be. If you should find yourself tokin’ up this weekend in between visits to the Quad (we hear it makes the fried Oreos go down easier), Hayao Miyazaki has made the film for you. Not only is the poorly matched English dubbing completely trippy, but the animated spirits from Spirited Away’s other–worldly setting is guaranteed to blow your mind as you blow into a bong.
Avoid: The Exorcist Movies always seem to make more sense when you’re high. By the time the titles appear, it’s not uncommon to feel as one with the film you lit up with. One movie that you wouldn’t want to get cozy with is The Exorcist. Designed to assail the senses of even the most sober viewer, The Exorcist is one visceral experience that shouldn’t be experienced under heightened circumstances.
SOBER
Watch: The Hangover We recognize that there are some of you who choose to abstain from the debauched merriment associated with Spring Fling. To keep from feeling too bad about your choice to live a more wholesome lifestyle, pop The Hangover into your DVD player. Seeing the disastrous consequences that follow a night of hardcore partying is sure to make you feel a little more self–righteous.
Avoid: Dazed and Confused Imagine sitting in your room in and listening to the raucous frolicking of alcoholic upperclasssmen. Since you can’t drown out the noise to work on homework, you turn on your TV just in time to catch the last half of Dazed and Confused — the part of the movie where a rockin’ kegger spontaneously breaks out in an open field. Still feeling good about your straight–edge ways now? We didn’t think so.
