By Linus Breadman Street: Eleanor, this Jell–O salad is simply magnificent. What’s in it? Eleanor Roosevelt: Lemon Jell–O, canned pineapple, carrots, mayonnaise and chopped walnuts. It’s easy to make and feels like a bowling ball in your stomach!
Street: Speaking of cheap, how do you keep the White House kitchen cost–efficient? ER: Well, we only buy food for me, Franky Boy and the dogs. Everyone else kind of fends for themselves these days.
Street: What’s your favorite food these days? ER: Cheese souffle! Having high cholesterol has never stopped me and my love of dairy. Street: How are you enjoying the recent legalization of alcohol? ER: Aw hell son, I’m drunk right now. Street: Really Eleanor? What have you been drinking? ER: Whiskey. On the rocks.
Street: Oh wow. Can I have some? We haven’t got any whiskey at the shelter. ER: No.
Street: Why not? ER: Are you my husband or my dog? (Slightly slurred.) Street: Well no … but can I be your bitch? ER: Get out!!!!!!! Street had to cut this interview short because of Eleanor’s drunk and disorderly conduct. Please join President Franklin Delano Roosevelt for a fireside chat tomorrow at 6 p.m.
