by Mrs Victoria Erwing
The conversation usually starts when someone sees the ring. “Are you really both a full-time student and a full-time wife?” they ask. “How did he propose?” they ask. “Who’s the lucky man?” they ask.
If you’re wondering the same things, let me answer you right away. First: yes, I really am both. Second: he didn’t propose — I did. And third: the lucky man is a cardboard cut out of 11-time NBA All-Star and member of the Dream Team, Patrick Ewing.
We had a small ceremony in my dorm last October. Just the two of us. He was wearing his Knicks uniform. I was wearing my mother’s wedding dress, which I snagged from her closet over the summer. I read him my vows. He remained strong and silent as always.
I have to carry him when we go out, and each time I’m met with a thousand stares of envy. People are respectful enough not to request autographs, but occasionally people will shout at me from far away. I imagine they’re saying, “Mrs. Ewing, can I pose with you for a couple pictures? One with your husband, for his skills on the court, and one with you, for your skills at catching hunks?” I always pretend I don’t notice them, but secretly I love the attention.
Sure, Patrick and I have our problems, but that’s true of every couple. We’ll have a date and I can’t make it because I have to work on a group project, for example. Or he’s feeling blue about his missed finger roll against the Indiana Pacers in game seven of the 1995 Eastern Conference Semi-Finals and I have stay up with him to cheer him up. You know, normal newlywed stuff.
My friends often yell at me, reminding me I didn’t marry the living, breathing Patrick Ewing. That this doesn’t “count” as a real marriage. They don’t think it’s healthy and they don’t like the person I’ve become since our engagement. But I am in love and this love is powerful. What they don’t understand is that when love is true and pure, it doesn’t have to be between two real, live people. Plus, they’re probably jealous their boyfriends weren’t #1 NBA Draft picks.
Ed Note: The content in this section is true. On opposite day!
