Oh my god, that was so crazy. No, seriously, when you do that with your nose you look exactly like a ferret. Like, a baby ferret or a regular one. Can you imagine if you were a ferret? I would be like, “Ew my roommate is a ferret and she scurries over my feet basically every second.” Do you think there’s like, an alternate universe where everyone has a ferret for a roommate? How do they even make money to pay the rent? Do they just eat like all the food in the fridge even if it has someone’s name on it? Wait, they better not have! Seriously I’m about to flip out if someone ate my shredded cheese.
Okay calm down, it’s cool. Got my cheese. A lot of people never even eat shredded cheese with a spoon I bet. I’m like, what are you thinking? Wait, do you want a hit of this? No not the cheese! Get real. This is my only bag of Sargento 4 Cheese Mexican Blend. Balls, I don’t even know where my bowl is anymore. Oh shit! It is in my lap. I thought that was a little figurine. My grandma has a whole figurine shelf in her bedroom. She’s obsessed with knick-knacks. I was thinking to myself, like, “Why did I steal Grammy’s knick-knack? Did I go to Omaha and then take it off of her shelf?” That would be epic. I totally would, too. Right? Remind me about this later. I would be like, if I did that, “Uhhh sorry Grammy.”
Whoa whoa whoa, hold the phone. Look at that stain on the carpet. Is it me, no, no way, it’s not just me. Definitely. That stain looks exactly like a dog swimming in the ocean. No, that’s it’s head. It’s like, a terrier, see? You can’t see the ears because it has a bonnet on. Not from the front, it’s like a side angle. Like, in profile. Yeah that’s the tail. Between two waves. It’s like a photograph. How have I never noticed that before? Do you think someone did it on purpose? Oh yeah, I did spill something there. No, I didn’t do it on purpose! Holy wow. See, I always told you I should take Drawing I. Didn’t I? I should. Shouldn’t I? Let’s take it and go high. That would be sick.
Damn, I think this bowl is cashed. It’s okay, there’s more in my room. What?! This is the weed from my room? Oh shit dude, we better call Justin like, forty ten hours ago. Do you think he’ll bring it to us now? He might not even be awake yet. That is so not cool. I hate when he acts like this.
Oh my god who ate my Sargento?
