Girl, did you know that I created my stage name when I learned that I was due to be born on Valentine’s Day? It’s no coincidence — I once received word in a dream from God himself that this most sensuous holiday was created with your boy Bobby Valentino in mind. Now I know this Sunday you want your boo coming home with some flowers and chocolates, but take it from R&B hotshot Bobby V. — it’s time to turn the tables and do something for your man.
First thing’s first: make him breakfast in bed. Yeah, get those eggs scrambled. Get that bacon fried. Mmm, I see you toasting that toast right, girl. Next you want to wrap it up in some aluminum foil or something. I know you’re thinking, “But Bobby, my man is sleeping in the next room. Why do I need to wrap it up?” Well, girl, to quote my biggest hit single: “Slow down.” Because I got a twist coming your way — you ain’t making breakfast for your man, it’s for me. On Valentine’s Day, Bobby V-Tino is every girl’s sweetheart.
Yeah, gorgeous, you heard Bobby V. To make a long, steamy story short: all you girls are gonna make me breakfast, bring your meals to my house and as a group we will feast and make love while listening to my 2004 hit “Pimpin All Over The World.” Plus, I got my boy Jamie Foxx to hook us up with an advance copy of the upcoming New Line Cinema picture, Valentine’s Day. Ooh, I can’t wait. Baby girl, spending Valentine’s Day with Bobby V. is like spending Christmas with Jesus. It will be hot and it will be delicious. That’s a genuine Bobby Breakfast promise.
