As in the hours before many such tragedies, everything about Wednesday night seemed utterly ordinary. And perhaps, in a sense, it was. Last call came and went. Hoards of students, BAC ranging from .083-.4, streamed out of Smokey Joe’s, Copa Banana and Blarney Stone. Approximately 12 bar-goers failed to close out their tabs. Six pairs of gloves, three hats, two wallets and one Kindle were left behind, unbeknownst to their former owners.
The lucky students headed south for barbeque chicken pizza at Allegro or poorly-planned sandwiches at Wawa. The unlucky ones, craving sweeter fare, were met with disappointment and devastation at McDonald’s.
Wharton junior Greg Morris recalls the following: “I got out of Smokes and I turned to my friend and I was like, ‘Oh fuck! I have a bomb-ass plan. Two words: McFlurries. Then my friend was like, ‘Sick. I’m going to get Oreo.’ Or no, M&M. Yeah he wanted M&M and I wanted Oreo. I’m pretty sure.”
For Morris and the 26 reported victims, purchasing a McFlurry did seem like a “bomb-ass plan.” That is, of course, until it was thwarted by Robby Clover, assistant manager at the 40th Street McDonald’s franchise. With what was described by one bystander as “callous disregard for others,” Clover uttered a phrase that even the most inebriated of customers would come to remember for several minutes.
“He looked me in the eye and said ‘We’re all out of soft-serve,’ and it felt like time just, like, froze,” recalls Chloe Ebertson, who, at 2:12 a.m., was the first patron to be denied a McFlurry. “I was like, to the guy, ‘Wait, seriously?’ I mean I couldn’t believe it, you know?”
Ebertson’s boyfriend, who, at press time, was “still pretty drunk,” added, “We had pooled together all of our change and we definitely had enough for two McFlurries, so I don’t know what this guy’s deal was.”
Although Clover claims that the soft-serve machine was “up and running again” by 3:30 a.m., some students are still shaken.
“It’s scary,” said a “McFurious” Greg Morris, who was seen leaving McDonald’s with an unwrapped slice of apple pie in his hands. “You never think things like this will happen to you.”
Added Morris’ roommate, “Wait, we went to McDonald’s last night?”
