According to a report from the University Registrar this Wednesday, College junior Clyde Clintock dropped Introduction to Psychology after attending only one of the Tuesday/Thursday lectures. Students present during the class, which concluded after a brief overview of the syllabus, witnessed no signs of Clintock’s impending withdrawal.
“He looked okay,” said a Wharton sophomore who sat two rows behind Clintock. “He had a notebook for the class and he had written ‘Intro to Psych’ across the top with this squiggly line below it. I think it was in Sharpie.”
Jenny Kimperson, one of the four Teacher’s Assistants for the 320-student lecture, recalled the following: “Once I heard what had happened, I looked on the roster at his Penn ID photo. I didn’t remember him, but you’d think that if he was planning something like this – just dropping out without a word – I would have.” Added Kimperson, “I looked at the picture and just thought, ‘how could I have missed the signs? Was this face staring down at a DP crossword puzzle right in front of me?’”
Professor Michael Glip, who has been teaching introductory level psychology courses to undergraduates for nearly a decade, was visibly distraught when he arrived for the second lecture, fifteen minutes late, unshaven, and sporting a light grey Penn track suit with expansive under-arm sweat stains. According to witnesses, Glip unclipped his walking microphone at 11:03 a.m., after saying, “I can’t teach the Stanford Prison Experiment under these circumstances.” The class was scheduled to end at 11:50.
In a statement at this morning’s press conference, Clintock, who has not yet added a replacement course, said “I'm thinking of switching to the other section.”
