2000
In 2000, Quakers breathed a sigh of relief when Y2K turned out to be Not2Bigadeal. Penn Computing had instated a massive initiative, the University of Pennsylvania Year 2000 Project, to prevent possible mainframe meltdowns or ATMs blowing up or whatever sort of havoc the new millennium was supposedly about to wreak. Everyone’s favorite people-watching post, Perelman Quad, was completed at the turn-of-the-millenium and Pod opened its doors to serve sushi-loving sorority girls and the likes of Mark Wahlberg for the first time. NSO as we know it got its first run in the year 2000, when Penn added three days to its previously lamer orientation schedule. With the Republican National Convention held in Philly, the city got its fair share of election attention, and while chads were hanging in Florida, fingers were crossing at Penn, as students waited … and waited … to finally hear news of the new president-elect, George W. Bush over former Vice Prez Al Gore … five weeks after election day.
2001
We would be remiss to start discussion of 2001 without mentioning the tragedy of September 11. Following the attacks that killed at least 14 Penn alumni, the University rallied in support of those who had been affected. The year, however, wasn’t all tragedy, and in fact marked the birth of several Pennstitutions. After a failed attempt at opening a 24-hour restaurant called El Diner, the famed Philly Diner came into existence in October, half a block away from its current location. The Fresh Grocer followed in March, introducing a new generation of Penn students to awkwardly slanted aisles and a new name to abbreviate (what up, FroGro?). In the music scene, the Black Eyed Peas headlined Spring Fling, adding fuel to the unstoppable monstrosity that would one day leave us with Fergie. Yeesh. John McCain spoke at commencement and no one was afraid he was going to die. 2001 was also the 125th anniversary of women at Penn. Way to go, ladies!
2002
’02 was a year for inaugurating many of what we now consider Penn landmarks. Pottruck opened its doors, providing smoothies and rock climbing for all. The big red chode that is Huntsman Hall opened in 2002 as well. Then-VP Dick Cheney attended the dedication ceremony, sparking student protests upon his visit in reaction to the proposed war in Iraq. The LGBT Center moved to its current location in the Carriage House in ’02, and the Last Word Bookstore and the ever-exciting Bridge Cinema de Lux movie theater spruced up 40th Street as the year progressed. As Sigma Kappa colonized for the first time on campus, Ed Rendell, Penn alumnus and former mayor of Philly, won his post as Pennsylvania’s governor in the 2002 election. And you thought the golf simulator, 12 Lounge, SKLove<3<3 and Eddie R had been around forever.
2003
The year started with the end of an era, as the Palladium restaurant at 36th and Locust Walk (now the ARCH building) closed down, moving to 48th and Baltimore. But while Penn lost one restaurant, we gained a whole lot more. Ben and Jerry’s opened up shop on 40th Street, joined later in the year by Copabanana, forever changing the Wednesday night social scene for (insert stereotype here). Van Pelt was made whole by the addition of Mark’s Cafe and sorostitutes found a reason to exist with the addition of Gia Pronto to Spruce Street. Ann Taylor Loft opened, which zero Penn students have ever visited. 2003 also marked the official beginning of the war in Iraq, and Penn students had a strong response, opening up a 24-hour anti-war zone in Houston Hall in the weeks following the declaration.
2004
Thanks to a new prez and a new way to procrastinate, 2004 saw a massive Penn overhaul. Our one and only Doc Amy G was announced as the new Penn president, becoming the first female president to follow another female president at an Ivy League, in total girl-power fashion. The former incarnation of ZBT was shut down in ’04, and Cereality (RIP!) opened on Walnut. The Real World Philadelphia filmed and aired in this year, bringing our very own city of bro love into MTV culture light. 2004 also marked another presidential election in which Bush edged out John Kerry for a second term. Oh, and there was some technological something-er-other introduced in ’04. We’re not really sure about the details of this so-called “social networking site,” but it was apparently called the Facebook and it was meant for people to “connect” “online.” Maybe someday we will uncover what that was all about.
2005
DP legal affairs reporters can thank 2005 for three years of story assignments and train rides to Wilmington, as student Irina Malinovskaya was first charged with the murder of her ex-boyfriend’s new girlfriend. On a lighter criminal note, a freshman was arrested for leaving Houston Hall without paying for her salad. Think about that next time you jerks want to steal stuff. Students across campus bitched about how they weren’t cool enough to like Sonic Youth, which headlined the Fling concert. A senior was named Miss Philadelphia — “I would have to say April 25th … ” — and went on to compete for Miss Pennsylvania. Little Quadlings had their world’s turned upside down when Spruce College House was renamed Riepe, and the Food Court on Walnut Street introduced Quiznos, Taco Bell and KFC. Where’s the Colonel, now? The greatest part of 2005 by far, though, was when two daring exhibitionists had their photo snapped having sex up against their high rise window, leading the University to implode in scandal as the pictures were responsibly put online for all to see.
2006
Oh so salacious, ’06 was not lacking in Penn drama. With two profs taken away in cuffs (Scott Ward for child pornography and Tracy McIntosh for sexual assault), campus saw its fair share of creeped-out-ness. Assault cases in general rose and juries were hung in the trial of Malinovskaya’s murder case. Another type of photograph became the talk of the town in November, when a pic of Amy Gutmann’s Halloween Party showed her smiling alongside a student dressed as a suicide bomber. She smoothed out the hitch with a public statement, but the picture became the source of controversy (and Street jokes) for months to come. As if all this weren’t enough to keep Quakers in their Quad rooms, the “screwdriver man,” a thief who mugged a number of Penn students "at point of screwdriver," became yet another concern on campus. And in spite of all of this drama, Penn students were still boredatVanPelt, and the so-named website connected horny studiers with Adderall dealers all year long.
2007
The launch of 2007’s $3.5 billion capital campaign proved that mo’ money does not equal mo’ problems for Penn, but rather a lovely plan for eastward expansion. Penn knocked some stuff over and started building some other stuff, releasing some sweet plans for a new College House on Hill Field, a Penn Park down by the river and a whole lot more. 2007 also brought us the mysterious resignation of Admissions Dean Lee Stetson, leading a team of obsessed reporters to devote every minute of their lives to literally stalking the man. And yet, we still have no idea what happened. There must have been something in the water this year, because Penn students went a little nuts. Joe Cho tried to shoot his neighbors because he thought they were foreign spies, Diexa Wang creeped through Mayer Hall and stole your panties, and Ryan Goldstein was arrested by the FBI for his role in a global computer-hacking conspiracy. Seniors were crazy in general, and hazed juniors so hard that we almost lost Hey Day for good. But we didn’t, and juniors still have the unique opportunity to be coated in a mixture of flour, ketchup and glitter.
2008
The great ’08 got us Penn kids off our proverbial asses when it came to political involvement. Campus was rife with panels and flyers and really obnoxious listserv emails (oh my!) all telling us to cast off the myth of college student political apathy and VOTE!!!!!!!!!! With a week long visit from Stephen Colbert in April for the Democratic primary. We hosted guests from Hillary Clinton to John Edwards to Ben Franklin, or some creepy fake Franklin who just ate Doritos during all of the tapings. In the meantime, Logan Hall got a feminine facelift, becoming Claudia Cohen Hall, and the looming colossus that is the Radian opened. Juicy Campus burst into the online social scene for a brief but wondrous way to cheer and jeer our peers by name. Come Election Day, students jammed the polls and stormed the streets upon learning of the definitive election of Barack Obama as president. We had, of course, gotten plenty of practice storming streets just weeks earlier, when a Phillies World Series win against Tampa Bay got even the most fair-weather fans jumping crazily in Uni City, from Smoke’s to Blarney. Ah, victory.
2009
Last year everyone got sick. First we endured the Great Meningitis Scare, in which Greeks and those who make out with Greeks flocked to Student Health to get their handy dose of Cipro. Everyone made it through the wilderness, only to be clobbered by Swine09, in which we weren’t allowed to visit Student Health, and were instead sequestered to our rooms. When the world didn’t end, student government junkies rose up to collectively orgasm over amendments to the UA election process, meaning we all get to vote this spring. Meanwhile, the rest of campus did not seem to care one bit. Kind of like they didn’t care about Fall Fest, Spring Fling’s red-headed stepchild that wasn’t quite as cool as we had hoped. Earlier in the year, American Apparel sold out of gold spandex and headbands in anticipation of Girl Talk’s arrival. It was also the year of bougie food, especially in the food cart variety, as campus was introduced to a cupcake truck, a coffee truck and a luxury taco truck. We also finally got a Chipotle. Happy decade!
