Confidence Confidential by Dr. Lane Golic claims to hold all the secrets necessary to evolve from a wallflower to a life-of-the-party-flower. However, after reading the book thoroughly and giving its tips a test drive, I can tell you with certainty that it is a huge load of crap.
Last week, my mom set me up with her secretary’s cousin Mark. Total stud. 5’11, slender build, systems programmer, Ed Hardy shirt over long-sleeved teal polo. I’m really terrible at dating, so I was looking forward to trying out some of the book’s tips on this man, who could very well be “the one.”
The first thing the book asked me to do was list my insecurities so I would know what I would have to overcome. Here’s what I said: shy, bad conversationalist, two different eye colors, bean allergy. With my EpiPen in my purse and my blue color contact resting on my left eye, I was halfway there when he picked me up for dinner.
In order to fight the shyness, I was instructed to smile as often as possible. Golic writes, “Words can be misinterpreted, but a smile can only mean one thing.” When Mark arrived at my door, I greeted him with a smile, and maintained that grin all the way through the cab ride and appetizer. Things were going well. Quietly, but well.
The book stressed politeness and friendliness in conversation, so when I did speak, I said, “Please excuse me for one moment, friend,” and went to the bathroom to hyperventilate. After I splashed some water on my face, lost my contact, crawled on the floor looking for it, put it back in and returned to our table, Mark had left.
I did everything the book told me to but Mark still abandoned me at the Red Robin and hasn’t called since. As much as I wanted to believe in Confidence Confidential, it only left me disappointed.
Next Week: Overcoming Disappointment by Simon Q. Legler
