People value our opinion here at The Street, (we added a 'the' for legitimacy/increased street cred… get it? Street cred…). So they send us shit. A lot of shit. The products of their creative outbursts include books, CDs, interactive activity books, hand-sewn Scientology bibles, Jack Bauer dolls and the like. Normally this shit gets dejectedly overlooked, relegated to the annals of the grotto, which we here at Lowbrow call home. But this week, in a bid to promote the understrappers of the artistic fringe, we have picked the best, the brightest, the utmost fantabuloustest of the bunch and bring you, today: Lowbrow’s Londerful Levalutation, a.k.a. Reviews. Lünderbar!
Hot Mess: Summer in the City by Julie Kraut and Shallon Lester A future canonic member of capital L Literature, Hot Mess has it all. Chronicling heroine Emma Freeman’s summer in the Big Apple, Hot Mess brings us Pennsters back to our hotshot summer intern days. In this poignant bildungsroman, Kraut and Lester showcase their brave, bold and beautiful literary style. Their lyrical descriptions of “a very J. Lo floppy hat” and copious pop culture allusions are so metaphorical, it hurts. A stunning work of literary genius, Hot Mess is a must-read. And just to sweeten the deal — the “so-sexy-it-has-to-be-illegal” love interest is a Penn grad. Start fantasizing, girls! — Sally Bronston
The Essential WEIRD AL YANKOVIC Many deem Bob Dylan the greatest songwriter of the 20th century. We at Lowbrow would like to politely challenge this widely held belief and, instead, offer our nomination: Weird Al Yankovic. With the release of The Essential Weird Al Yankovic you can now find all of your Weird Al faves — “White & Nerdy,” “Eat It,” “Another One Rides the Bus” — without searching through his other 12 full length albums, nine compilation albums or extended plays. Phew! No other artist alive today can take an already established masterpiece, add intricate instrumentals and belt scintillating vocals with the precision and virtuosity of the esteemed Weird Al. His music transports you to a world where it’s respectable to be a “Canadian Idiot” and everyone wants to live in an “Amish Paradise.” While many will write Weird Al off as simply comical and frivolous, with the release of his greatest hits CD, we see Weird Al in a new light. Every track tells a story of two songs: the original and the creative reworking. With each lyric he delves into the psyche of the American public to reveal the inner workings of popular culture as it influences music. And his soulful croon will leave an indelible mark on all of his lucky listeners. — Henry Goldberg
Mountain Man Insights: Wise Old Sayings Never Heard Before by Honest Henry Surrender yourself to author Honest Henry, purveyor of ultimate truth. Take him as your life coach, life partner and sensei. His poetic counsel speaks to the crux of human plight and falls on ears like pleather hot pants on a Pussycat Doll. Here are a few of H-Squared’s wisest of old sayings: “Some folks become millionaires, experts in push and shove. Others merely feed sparrows, paint rainbows and share their love.” Read: Cash money is where it’s at. But, rainbows are cool too. “Baby belongs with mother.” Read: Delete your baby daddy from your phonebooks, single moms — child support and responsible fatherhood is SO passé, blasé, yesterday! “The best time to catch a criminal is when he is four years old.” Read: Give your kid a juicebox, animal crackers and a background check after his afternoon nap. When you find crack and stolen Play-Doh in the bastard’s crib, send him to prison; it’ll be the best thing for him before kindergarten. “A child pressed into a mold is a child deformed.” Read: For all those parents of children with disabilities, fuck you for shoving your pregnant belly into a Batman cake pan. “Children fit into the places we give them: tiny boxes; or giant stars.” Read: A shoebox should be sufficient, just make sure to reinforce the lid with heavy-duty duct tape and decorate with sparkly star stickers. — Isabel Friedman
