In case you were wondering, staring at random farm animals isn’t exactly thrilling. Not that barnyard voyeurism is the primary subject of The Men Who Stare at Goats, but it features more than enough to go around.
The first major studio film by character actor Grant Heslov, Goats follows reporter Bob Wilton (Ewan McGregor) as he ventures on a whim to the Middle East in an attempt to impress his estranged wife. Once there, he meets Lyn Cassady (George Clooney), a former agent contracted by the military for one last mission.
Cassady isn't your ordinary soldier, though; he's part of a highly secretive branch of the Army charged with replacing traditional combat with New Age psychic techniques. As the men travel toward camp in Iraq, Cassady recounts his bizarre history in the unit, including his relationships with general/guru Bill Django (Jeff Bridges) and his conniving archrival Larry Hooper (Kevin Spacey).
The acting here isn’t the issue; its unsurprisingly solid given the top-notch cast. Spacey is especially funny, infusing Hooper with a dim-witted cunning that all but dissolves with a heavy dose of opiates. The real problem is the plot, or lack thereof.
Sure, learning about army men who favor shrooms and meditation over snipers and machismo is amusing for a while, but the complete lack of conflict quickly grows tiresome. This may be the only war film in recent memory that doesn't include a single battlefield scene, and not even a final platoon-wide LSD trip can make it better.
