Looking back at classics that glorify New York like Annie Hall and Manhattan, Woody Allen lovers were eager for the return to his beloved hometown. Having spent four films traipsing across Europe with hotties like Scarlett and Penelope, Allen has a new young starlet and is back stateside.
Whatever Works opens on Boris Yellnikoff (Larry David), a cranky recluse with cynical views of life and love after a failed marriage, failed career and failed suicide attempt. Melody St. Ann Celestine (Evan Rachel Wood), a young Southern runaway, encounters Boris by chance and somehow convinces the hermit living on a chess teacher’s salary to take her in. Although he demands she vacate within 24 hours, she uses her wide-eyed oblivion and southern belle looks to work her way into his life. Permanently. She declares her love to this unlovable Scrooge, Boris initially rejecting her advances. But he soon realizes that although she may not match him in intellect — he was, after all, considered for the Nobel in Physics — a sexy, young, blonde bombshell eager to adopt his jaded outlook on life is just what he needs. The two get hitched.
Wait... an older, cynical Jewish man marries a young, beautiful ditz? That sounds familiar. Not a surprise, considering Allen wrote the script for Zero Mostel 30 years ago. And while we fell in love with Annie Hall, the old gimmicks — breaking the fourth wall, the characters and even NYC — feel dated. In films past, Allen himself plays the neurotic intellectual who miraculously woos girls out of his league in both age and beauty. Yet this time, he chooses a slightly less geriatric version of himself to fill the spot: David. In theory, the standard David persona seems appropriate to assume Allen’s kvetching role. Unfortunately, David’s less-sensitive, louder incarnation of Allen is about as genuine as Tofurkey on Thanksgiving.
The film changes pace when a surprise guest drops in on the newlyweds: Melody’s God-fearing mother, Marietta Celestine (Patricia Clarkson). Although not welcomed by the Yellnikoffs, Clarkson’s performance as a conservative, overbearing Southern mom turned sexually-liberated, overbearing New York mom is a much-welcome addition to the film. Her arrival catalyzes the love entanglements that characterize the rest of the film.
Although Wood and Clarkson give shining comedic performances, the aged dialogue and overall absurdity of the plot make the film less than endearing. This is particularly true of the happily-ever-after ending, a rarity in Allen’s repertoire that should stay under his thinking cap.
While we appreciate the director’s overall message to find “any way you can filch a little joy in this pointless black chaos,” it’s one we’ve heard before, and we wish he would have formulated the film with a little more effort than simply whatever worked.
