Here’s the deal. Most good movies totally work on more than one level. Like Starship Troopers is not so much a sci-fi movie as it is a commentary on war and shit. Now, think really hard about The Godfather. Seems like a totally sick mafia movie, doesn’t it? Well, news flash, TG series isn’t really about Michael Corleone as a powerful mob-boss. Spoiler alert: he’s gay. Don’t believe me? Keep reading.
Clue number one: right from the start, Michael seems totally uninterested in his sister’s (cough) straight wedding. He even tells his “fiancée” that his life will never be like that. But, afraid to face who he really is, Michael gives heterosexuality a try when he’s in hiding in Naples. He finds Apollonia, the hottest chick in the region. She shows him (and us) her titties (God bless Coppola), when suddenly — the scene cuts! And then he goes and blows her up! Weird, right? Wrong. Intelligent moviegoers will understand that after failing to “rise” to the occasion, Michael is forced to get rid of the witness. He’s looking a lot more sympathetic now, isn’t he? The fact that Michael eventually marries Kay and has two kids is just a minor snag.
Clue number two: in The Godfather: Part II, Michael kisses his brother Fredo at the New Year’s Eve ball in Cuba. And, freakishly enough, Fredo winds up dead too, just like Apollonia. Coincidence? No way. Once Michael gives away his closet homo-incestuous desires, he is forced to kill his own brother. And last, but definitely not least, in The Godfather: Part III, Michael growls his famous line about the male-dominated mob: “Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in.” That’s what he said. Poor Mike. If only he’d come of age today instead of in the early ‘70s, TG would have been a lot less grim and a lot more gaylicious.
