It is said that love knows no bounds; debatable, perhaps, but certainly the types of love are endless. There is puppy love, forbidden love, platonic love, tough love and guy love (so says Zach Braff), amongst many others. And then there is stealth love, a term I coined a few years ago.
Remember when that kid chased you around the sandbox, only to tackle you? That is stealth love. Or how you never let your friends forget the really humiliating moments you were fortunate enough to witness? That's also stealth love. Giving someone a hard time = attention, and everyone knows we give attention to those we love best. It's teasing with a heart of tenderness. It's love. just stealthily.
And if you're a freshman reading this, keep stealth love in mind as you turn to page 22. Like you, your sophomore, junior and senior brethren were told during their respective NSOs that the Econ Scream was the first Penn tradition in which they'd participate. Not true. The first tradition is an annual Street tradition: freshman superlatives.
If you're one of the chosen few to be a superlative, take heart: those who have come before you live to tell the tale - and if anything, parlay the experience into a profitable form of notoriety. If you don't believe me, read the stories of former superlatives Sarah Telson and Gabe Head - my personal favorite superlative, ever (page 4).
But have faith that we kid because we love. You're the smartest class to ever grace Penn's historic halls, and not only are we proud to share this campus with you, but seniors taking introductory lectures to fulfill that last procrastinated requirement are counting upon your superior notes.
Welcome to Penn, welcome to 34th Street, and always trust in stealth love: at some point in your time here, this school will stress you, frustrate you and maybe seemingly mock you, but remember that it comes from a loving place. You were chosen to be here for a reason, so enjoy that privilege and take it for all its worth.
After all, though we may tease the ones we love, we ignore the ones we don't. As any upperclassman vying to be Ego of the Week will tell you, that fate is much worse than being loved in stealth.
Here's to you,
Kerry
