"Hey."
When I visited Penn as a junior in high school, my tour guide leaped at each chance to brand Penn "the social Ivy." We all understood, according to legend, that the parties would be abundant and the nights out would outnumber the nights in. But even in this "social" atmosphere, when, where and how is it appropriate to say hello?
As one year ends and another begins, the guidelines for when we say hello, when we should simply nod or when we should just keep walking become hazy. To my group project partner from my freshman seminar, do you feel it's appropriate we don't acknowledge each other this year even though we shared many laughs in a Van Pelt study room last year? To my math TA from last spring, do you also feel uncomfortable about the awkward nods on Locust? To the girl I always kiss hello even though we really only met once on 40th and Spruce, are we ever going to have a real conversation?
Most people I know can be separated into two categories. First are friends; you should always say hello to friends. Friends are in fact rather straightforward to deal with, because it is appropriate to at times be extremely gregarious, but in other instances to be simply cordial. You will see friends again, so each individual interaction matters less in the bigger picture.
Where I struggle is with people I know, but whom I don't consider friends. One might call these people acquaintances, which is a fancy word that does well to make me feel even more uncomfortable about how to deal with these people. My primary issue of uncertainty with these acquaintances is that there always seems to be some disaccord about how well you and the other party actually know each other. Or if you really know each other at all.
There tend to be a number of matters I grapple with in such situations. For instance, how long ago did I acquaint myself with this person, and when did we last say hello? What is our normal method of interaction? Am I in a sober state of mind, and thus will my actions be considered acceptable? Upon dealing with these dilemmas in the seconds available to me, the interaction finally occurs. Here's where everything can go wrong. If a simple nod of the head, high-five, "hey" or gentle ignore isn't enough, a particularly overzealous acquaintance can pursue the stop and chat, often referred to as the dreaded S&C.
The first problem with the S&C: location, location, location. On Locust Walk or other crowded venues, it's particularly uncomfortable, especially as others, who may even be "friends," pass and observe this peculiar situation. Or perhaps, you're with a friend already. Do you introduce this friend? Does the friend end up perpetuating the S&C or does the friend give you an early exit? Additionally, and worst of all, the S&C usually involves the most banal stock of questions; i.e. things no one cares about and no one cares to answer, such as how your summer was, or how in general you are doing or where you might be living this year.
The interactions with acquaintances, be they through pretending not to know each other or through engaging in a conversation that goes on for far too long, remind me of what I concurrently love and hate about this school: that yes, it is determinedly social, but it can never decide whether or not it wants to be friendly.
