The Street Sweeper may be defunct, but that was just gossip anyway. In the spirit of Fling, here are four true sex stories - messy, drunken sex stories. Consider them a warning. or a challenge.
Student A and Student B were in Europe. After hours of barhopping one night, they met a drunk native named Olga on their way back to their hotel. Student A suddenly began to speak in a phony British accent and attempted to woo her with his charm. It worked. After just 3 minutes, Olga insisted they go back to the room. Olga moved fast, so the couple was having crazy drunk sex in no time. During the session, Student A ordered Olga to "ride his power rod" and "play with his man toys." Fast forward to the morning after: Student B asked Student A for a video interview, you know, for memory's sake. As Student B recorded Student A's recollection of the story (with Olga's snoring in the background), he noticed a dark spot on the bed and asked Student A about it. Student A looked over and realized that they had been sleeping in Olga's urine for hours. Yum.
A girl and her boyfriend were making amazingly sweet love one night in the privacy of their own bedroom. Because they both like to have a good visual while they're going at it, positioning was crucial. The student, facing the ceiling, had only her lower legs on the bed. She kept the rest of her body in midair by pushing herself off of the floor with her arms. Her boyfriend did the same but was facing her, not the ceiling. This way, they could watch and feel what went on "downstairs". As he finished, the boyfriend pulled out quickly. When he looked at his girlfriend lovingly, he realized he had shot her in the eye. Doesn't he know that that is not an effective form of birth control?
Student X woke up with Student Y in his bed. Though Student X couldn't recall how Student Y got there, they decided to have sex, full force. While Student Y was on top, her boyfriend called. And she answered. When her boyfriend asked her why she was panting, she told him she had just run up a flight of stairs. She even told him that she loved him and missed him - all while she rode Student X like a mule. A few minutes later, still on the phone, she decided to stop the sex and go down on Student X instead. She muted the phone while her mouth was full and continued to listen to her boyfriend. Every time the conversation required her to comment, she just unmuted her phone long enough to reply to her boyfriend. (Due to the high level of skill required, we do not recommend you try this at home.)
During Fling one year, a group of friends were playing leap frog in the Quad. A female student was up, and the last "pebble" she had to jump over was her boyfriend. But before she could get there, she needed to leap over a considerably beefier obstacle of a man. As she struggled to jump over him, her D-cups fell out of her tube top. She quickly jumped onto her boyfriend's back and held onto him to hide herself. Unfortunately, this didn't work, with the result that half of Lower Quad got a glimpse of her goods. Fling really flung her - gives you something to aspire to this weekend, no?
