Molly Mitchell splits her time between comedy improv group Without A Net, the men's crew team and her dorm room in Hill. The freshman dishes on Dateline, omelets and how she maintains her killer tan.
Street: Tell us a little about your year off after high school.
Molly Mitchell: I started the year in Philadelphia with no plans and no money. So, in the fall I worked for a health care consulting firm. as a secretary. Then I left for L.A. for five months where I interned at 20th Century Fox in the film division. Then, in the late spring, I spent about two months interning for a ministry that works with boarding school students.
Street: How is it being on the men's crew team?
MM: I'm pretty much living out every pederast's dream: carefully watching and forcefully bossing around 16 sweat-drenched, spandex-clad men. I try not to take it for granted; do you know how many guys from Dateline's To Catch a Predator would kill to be in my shoes?
Street: What does being coxswain entail?
MM: Mainly, the whole-hearted embrace of your Napoleon complex.
Street: How did you get involved in Without A Net?
MM: I opted to audition for the group for two reasons. First, I was really involved with my high school's improv group, so I wanted to continue with that. And secondly, Jurassic Potential (the bio-geological research organization to which I'd pretty much dedicated my entire life) lost government funding this fall, halting all research until further notice. So, I had some free time on my hands.
Street: Funniest thing that has happened to you this year?
MM: After a semester's worth of pondering, a fellow classmate approached me to ask "how I managed to keep such a nice tan all year round," adding that it looked "so authentic". I didn't know how to break the news of my ethnic origin, so I just told her I had a bit of a head start but that it was my religious visits to Hollywood Tans that made it look so real.
Street: If you could be on any other men's sports team, what would it be and who would be your teammates?
MM: The junior varsity speed walking team with the kid I see leaving the engineering building every MWF at 10:58 a.m. Boyfriend can hustle.
Street: In ten years I will be.
MM: Probably, on a corner in Alphabet City living off the pocket change of Wharton students and clinging tightly to my pride, my paper box and my $180,000 diploma accrediting me as a bachelor of the theatre arts. Either that or, after an early post-college peak, I'll be making my second appearance on Dancing with the Stars, season 14.
Street: What is the best thing about being a freshman? The worst thing?
MM: Best thing: People assume you are blithely unaware of almost everything, so you can get away with murder. The worst thing: People assume you are blithely unaware of almost everything, so people - mostly drunk people - love patronizing you. It's really not a bad deal.
Street: If you could rename Penn to get rid of the Penn State confusion, what would you call it?
MM: Harvard University. No more confusion, no more explaining that our school is an Ivy, no more rejection-induced lamenting. It would be just like the real thing. but more fun.
Street: Five words to describe living in Hill.
MM: At least we have Charles. (The omelet guy.)
