The following conversations actually occurred between the Low Brow staff and creepy dudes in sex chatrooms online, at 3:30 in the afternoon. Names have not been changed nor has content been edited.
Naughty: So baby how hot are you?
Streetgurl: I'm feeling well so I guess 98.6 degrees
Naughty: lol thaz a song isn't it?
Streetgurl: No its my temperature
Naughty: :p
Streetgurl: I just took it. orally
Naughty: Wow!
Naughty: You and your boyfriend?
Streetgurl: No, I just used a thermometer
Streetgurl: How else would I do it?
Naughty: oh ok. kinky
Sreetgurl: not really its just standard procedure
Naughty: So, have you ever been with a black guy before?
Streetgurl: no. have you?
Naughty: arrrgh NO! lol
Streetgurl: What are you racist or something?
Naughty: no I loves all kinds of ladies
Naughty: so anyways how old are you?
Streetgurl: how old do you want me to be?
Naughty: 18-24?
Naughty: Virgin ass, emotionally and sexually deprived
Naughty: The clingy type.
Streetgurl: WHAT?! Have you been talking to my therapist. because that is illegal
Naughty: oh is it :-O
Naughty: Dang. I guess I need to get punished
Naughty: Is your pussy wet baby? Wet for my hard cock?
Streetgurl: eh. not particularly
Naughty: Why don't you come over and unzip my pants and take it out?
Streetgurl: What? You don't have arms, are you an amputee?
Naughty: mmm of course, takes cock out and strokes it a bit
Streetgurl: Wait I don't get it, do you have arms or not?
Naughty: are you going to start getting horny or am I going to start you up myself?
Streetgurl: That sounds like rape to me
Naughty: Ugh girl I'm taking you from behind
Streetgurl: thankfully technology is not that advanced yet
UK 8 Inches: Hey hotty what do you want to chat about?
Streetgurl: hardware
Streetgurl: what do you have?
UK 8 Inches: I've got 8 inches of thick hardware
UK 8 Inches: what you got?
Streetgurl: Is it PC or Mac compatible?
UK 8 Inches: Its compatible with whatever you want it to be
Streetgurl: No seriously, I just got Mac OS Leopard. Will that work?
UK 8 Inches: Is this a joke?
Streetgurl: It is a joke hehe you caught me
Streetgurl: I guess I'll have to reboot so we can get this started up right
UK 8 Inches: ok fine I'll give you one more chance
Streetgurl: Ok so tell me more about this hardware, what can you do with it?
UK 8 Inches: I can do all sorts of things, get you in all the right places
Streetgurl: Oh do you think it can fix a problem I've been having?
UK 8 Inches: Baby I can supply you with all the sexual healing you need
Streetgurl: hmm. that's great but I've just been having problems opening up PDFs in Safari
Steve: Hey gurl how you doing? Where are you talking to me from?
Streetgurl: Philly
Steve: Cool. brb
Steve: Sorry, my hands were busy.
Streetgurl: oh that's ok hehe
Steve: Do you like to get filthy?
Streetgurl: only if I have some purell nearby
Streetgurl: or at least some wetnaps
Steve: lol. no really
Streetgurl: Seriously I like to be fresh
Steve: SO what do you like to do?
Streetgurl: dustbust. do you need to be cleaned?
Steve: oh YES lol
Streetgurl: where do you want me to start?
Steve: tell me what you have on first
Streetgurl: Sweatpants, an apron, rubber gloves
Steve: Nothing else? Can't you have on some skimpy knickers?
Streetgurl: its laundry day
Steve: Oh shame.
Streetgurl: What fabric softener do you use?
Steve: comfort. You?
Streetgurl: I'm a downy girl. get it?
Streetgurl: I like the cute bear
Streetgurl: Anyways do you want me to start cleaning or what?
Steve: Yeah how about you start on my cock?
Streetgurl: I was thinking I would start in the kitchen
Steve: how about on the kitchen table?
Streetgurl: Oh the table already looks cleaned. I'll go get my mop
Steve: what are you going to do with that thing?
Streetgurl: Well it looks like after getting so excited to have sex with me you soiled yourself and the floor, and I'm going to clean that up, so if you don't mind I'm going to need you to step out of the kitchen for a bit
Streetgurl: U into role play?
BigTool4U: Kinky, whats the scene?
Streetgurl: Scene: you're picked to live in a house with seven strangers and find out what happens when people stop being nice and start getting real
BigTool4U: I don't get it
Streetgurl: Come on you've never seen the real world? Alright fine I'll come up with another
Streetgurl: ok ok scene: your name is Jack Shepard, and you were a passenger on Oceanic Flight 815. Your plane crashes on a seemingly deserted island with 14 other survivors, find out what happens when you're all forced to work together to survive.
Jack: Ok if we're going to get off this island we need to first find some hard wood for a fire, how about you come with me to go find some
Streetgurl: Unfortunately I was hurt badly in the crash and don't think I have the strength to get up
Jack: Well thankfully I'm a doctor and I can fix you right up
Streetgurl: eh.this isn't working for me, lets change the channel
Streetgurl: Scene: you are Dwight Schrute, a salesman and assistant to the regional manager at a paper supply company branch in Scranton, Pennsylvania
Jack: how is that supposed to be sexy?
Streetgurl: It isn't supposed to be your supposed to be trained in the arts of surveillance and survival
