The rumor mill is a funny thing. When rumors remain unsubstantiated, "reporters" clamor to be the first at the scene. When Heath Ledger may or may not have died two days ago, the first to report it was Alex Balk on Radar.com. "We're hearing a totally crazy rumor that Heath Ledger has been found dead of an overdose. It could be totally off-base, but if it's not we want credit for 'reporting' it first. Let us know if you've heard anything!" wrote Balk in his signature happy-go-lucky style. Balk, formerly of Gawker, doesn't exactly need the credit for "reporting" this rumor first, but let credit go where credit is due. Lest we forget, there was once a certain risk in early reporting that seems to have diminished in the blog-addicted twenty-first century. For a blog to report a rumor is to report a news byte that has less substantiation than the positive health effects of a non-FDA-approved drug. Care for some ephedrine, anyone? It's all fool's gold until someone strikes it rich. Yet, when it's true, it's true. And when it's not, it's knocked right off the RSS feed before anyone who matters has the chance to comment.
In the Penn world, rumors travel the old-fashioned way, by word of mouth. In the very least, this gives our gossipers time to substantiate what Radar calls its "Fresh Intelligence." At Penn, fresh intelligence is about as fresh as the food at the Fresh Grocer, where jumbo onions are on special one week and in the bargain bin the next.
We all hear some version of the current "big story," whether we read about it in the DP, the now-defunct Sweeper, or on one or many listserves. There's a certain legitimacy that comes with hearing the same story numerous times from different sources, even if this means you've received the same forwarded email from multiple lists. The early edition of the New York Times may go to press the night before, but is never early enough to break the fresh news that Gawker and Radar have already broken. So when does a rumor become news?
As any gossip-lover can tell you, just because a story makes it to print, doesn't mean it's true. Sure, some gossip rags have more clout than others, but without witness corroboration, signed statements and sworn testimony, even the simplest of news stories ring false to the toughest critics. Yet, when Heath Ledger died, I knew within minutes of my first "It can't be, is it April Fools Day? !" reaction that the truth had already been revealed. Why? Because gossip is only as unbelievable as it is true. And really, you can't make this stuff up. As for Lindsey Lohan's boob job, show me a movie where she stole the scene and took my breath away. Until then, I couldn't care less.
