Penn Transit is a great thing. It zips us all over town, and for free. But as this freshman realizes - and as most of us have known for some time - our beloved delivery system isn't all that Penn Previews cracks it up to be. Ever gotten an endless ring tone from Penn Transit at three in the morning? Yeah. We know. This article is for you.
11:41 p.m.: Our dilemma of how to get home begins. We walk to the bus stop, knowing full well that the chance of getting a bus from South Street back to campus this time of night is about the same as your chance of not getting some surprise STD before graduation.
11:45 p.m.: We call our friends at Penn Ride, which we now lovingly refer to as 1-800 GIVE ME A RIDE, BITCH. They inform us that Penn Ride does not pick up from such a far off-campus location, despite the fact that we feel "unsafe." We find out the closest area where they will pick us up - a Wawa not too far away - and we ask them to meet us there. We are given an estimated arrival time of twenty minutes. Doesn't having us loiter outside Wawa for this long this late at night defeat the core safety values upon which Penn Transit is based? Just saying.
12:06 a.m.: We're speaking to our friend at Penn Transit. She claims that the van came to pick us up five minutes ago. Given that we've been waiting along the side of this one-way street for 17 minutes now, this appears to be impossible. She tells us thirty minutes and hangs up.
12:15 a.m.: A few minutes later, when we're about to pool our meager resources and take a cab, the Penn Transit van arrives. In doing so, it nearly passes us, and we have to stand halfway out in the road to flag it down. Once in the van, we pass two girls, dressed up and stumbling, waving their hands wildly in a desperate but unsuccessful attempt to flag down the driver. At least we're not alone.
12:28 a.m.: The bus stops around 33rd and Walnut, nowhere near the Quad, where we are trying to go. "This is the end of the line," the bus driver informs us, "Everyone off." As we are exiting he asks us where we are trying to go. "The Quad," we all say in unison and smile, hoping for pity. "Okay then," he says, "Have a nice night." And with that, he shuts the van door in our faces and drives off.
