According to a small (okay, large) group of guys I surveyed (okay, hooked up with), guys love Brazilian waxes. Yet, as many times as my grandmother has told me that "beauty is pain," I've always had a hard time reconciling the price of down-there beauty with the pain necessary to obtain it. Also, I'm fairly certain she wasn't talking about my crotch. A little research (and a lot of vicodin) later, I am able to offer you the comprehensive guide to the painless bikini wax. Please feel free to apply this advice to any area you choose to dilapidate. Guys, this means you, too. No one wants to hold on to your sweater if you've already taken off your shirt.
* Pre-wax, pop a few pills to ease the pain. Two to three over-the-counter painkillers 30 minutes before should do it. Can't handle the pain but still want to undress to impress? Find a friend who recently had their wisdom teeth out or befriend a doctor with loose morals. Again, take the pill at least half an hour before your appointment to ensure it has kicked in by the time your pants come off. Take a cab to the salon.
* Time your trip wisely. Right after "that time of the month" is ideal. Right before, not so much. Hair length is also important. Make sure it has grown for at least 2-3 weeks since your last hair-removal experience. A quarter to half an inch of hair is ideal.
* Communication is vital when it comes to waxing. Estheticians are not mind readers. If they were, they'd probably be much more successful as psychics. Make sure you know the waxing terminology of your chosen salon. Most salons adhere to the following rules: A bikini wax is exactly that, just enough hair off to look hairless in a bikini, and not the see-through kind. The term Brazilian is where it tends to get tricky. In some salons (Saturn Club is an example), the Brazilian is the whole kit and caboodle. However, since many upscale salons did not initially offer the "everything-must-go" package, a new term has been coined to describe it: the Sphinx wax (also sometimes called the Lotus). Ask when you are making your appointment to make sure, and be very clear what you are looking for. You don't want to be that girl who looks down after it's done to find nothing there. although usually wax in between the cheeks is a pretty good indicator that you are getting more than you bargained for (unless that's exactly what you had in mind).
* Choose your wax wisely. Many salons now offer both strip wax and hard wax. Strip wax is applied at room temperature and covered with a muslin cloth to remove. Hard wax is applied hot and hardens on your skin so no cloth is needed. Juliette Tremond of Pierre & Carlos recommends hard wax to anyone who plans to wax multiple times because it reduces hair re-growth. Economically speaking, this wax is usually more expensive, but your investment will pay off in the long run. Juliette promised that even the thickest of rugs (she was talking about male back hair!) can become "smooth like a baby," if waxing is repeated regularly with the hard variety.
* Stay taut to avoid the pain of pulling skin. Pull your stomach in during the wax and you'll be shocked by how much less painful it is.
* Post-wax, prevent pesky and painful ingrown hairs by treating the skin with Tendskin ($20 for 4 oz, www.tendskin.com). Juliette suggests applying the product on a wet cloth so it doesn't shock your skin. Bliss also offers Ingrown Hair Eliminating Peeling Pads ($38, available at Douglas) which, as individual-use cloths, are easy to apply post-shower when you are already naked.
* As any sex-ed teacher will tell you, abstinence is the only surefire way to avoid sex-related incidents. Same goes for waxing. If you can't handle the pain, stay away from the wax. Keep in mind, however, that shaving, while painless, can lead to itchiness and dryness in the long run. Only waxing can keep you from earning a reputation for your stubble. If you do choose to wax, however, keep your stubble from causing trouble by taking advantage of the post waxing products described above. Both products can also be used for those who prefer a close shave to a barely-there wax.
* Whatever you do, don't try to wax yourself. It may not take a genius to wax a surfboard, but it does take an experienced professional to wax a vagina.
