We all know the usual: don't drive, don't urinate in public, don't text. But during homecoming weekend there's a new set of "don'ts" to ensure you'll still have that alum interview for JP Morgan.
DON'T
Pet Alum's Babies: They might have furry hair and be on a leash, but it's scary to chase them down Locust.
Steal Toast: There's no way to pull this one off stealthily. You're better off going down to the field and eating the leftovers.
Hit on a Married Alum: His wife probably went to Penn State and knows how to use her right hook.
Pregame your casual interview: "Projectile vomiting" isn't really a skill.
Drunk dial your parents to come: Because they will. and your dad won't be happy to hold your hair back.
Use the 'safety school' chant when you know that Penn was your safety school.
