A Missouri man faces up to 30 years in prison for stealing a 52 cent donut. Man claims it was worth it; donut was "really good."
Almost half the people living in New Jersey want to live somewhere else. Beige Block population booms.
Scientists have invented a new inter-planetary form of currency. Ha. Ha ha. Ah.
Christian parents are claiming "religious exemption" to avoid having their children vaccinated at school. It's about time polio made a comeback.
Man ends 13-year journey around the world using only the power of the human body. God drops giant anvil, says "take that, muthafucka."
French youth attack police, riot in France. American youth watch Heroes, microwave hot pocket.
A Chicago marathon left 302 people hospitalized. Street smokes bowl, comes out healthier in the end.
President George Bush warns of World War III. "The longer you keep me around, the closer it gets.."
