We may call ourselves "social," but the fact is that, for better or for worse, we are an Ivy. And though it is Penn's Ivy-ness that drew us here, it is also this same quality that tortures us most on Spring Fling weekend. We all have that out-of-touch, insensitive professor who dares to assign a paper for the Monday after Fling. You could argue that proper planning and time management would prevent this from being a problem, but let's be honest: this weekend, it's more likely that you'll take a shot of vodka than a shot at that PoliSci paper.
FRIDAY:
Head to Van Pelt at 9 a.m. Make coffee from Mark's Irish. Have confidence: if it worked for F. Scott Fitzgerald, it could work for you. And he dropped out of Princeton.
During Ben Folds, work in Silfen Study Center. Live music is a way better study aid than an iPod. Drink Red Bull. It won't make you sober, but it will make you a more alert drunk.
SATURDAY:
Go to friend's party at 11 a.m. for Jell-O shots. At 4 p.m., when everyone else is passed out, sneak away to Riepe Study Tower and continue paper writing.
Need reference help? Instant message a librarian for assistance - he can't smell your breath over AIM (but watch out for typos)!
Try to write your paper verbally. If you get a good idea in the middle of a party, call your own voicemail from someone else's phone and record your thoughts.
SUNDAY:
Play your messages back, deleting and saving as you go.
Continue typing paper when the clicking of your keyboard no longer makes you wince. Write your conclusion drawing from the broader perspective you have gained over the last 48 hours.
