As baseball season gets underway, one man looms larger - much larger - than most: Barry Bonds.
Bonds, of course, is on pace to break Hank Aaron's 755 career home run mark, one of baseball's most hallowed records. The Major League brass, however, can't decide whether or not to celebrate when he does. He's having some "weight issues," you see, and we're not talking about TrimSpa.
Everybody knows Bonds has been taking steroids; the trouble is that no one can prove it.
Now, when you talk to most baseball fans, the steroid scandal is tearing baseball apart. They ask: What happened to an equal playing field? How do we know who to trust? People say little kids are juicing; last year, Congress even got involved and subpoenaed some big names for a high-profile inquiry. The integrity of the sport, it would seem, is at stake.
But last year something happened that should have left no self-respecting baseball fan unmoved: in the Olympics of baseball, the World Baseball Classic, the US lost to Mexico. To Mexico. 2-1! Our biggest and brightest didn't even make it to the finals. I couldn't even turn on Lou Dobbs that night, just out of respect for the man.
In a post-WBC world, I ask you: is this really the right time to be saying no to our more performance-conscious players? When all they want to do is succeed, who are we to deny their dreams? Think of steroids as the Adderall of the sports world, and Bonds' record-breaker as the final paragraph of your all-night, 20-page, Van Pelt marathon.
Instead of demonizing Barry Bonds, I say look to him as an example; a man who, last April, would have had the balls to remember the Alamo. When home run 755 rolls around, I say give him the greatest parade baseball has ever seen. Nobody loves broken records more than baseball fans.
After all, the man has the voice of a five-year-old girl. Have a freaking heart.
