Hello friends, acquaintances and people who stalk me on Facebook. It's been a busy week for me, filled with nightly blackouts, and spitting game even Mark Zoller couldn't compete with (besides Texas A&M).
Things aren't what they used to be. Phi Delt and Tabard held a cross-dressing mixer at the ladies' house on Pine, and it seems the usually friendly alliance has taken a turn for the worst. According to one Phi Delt junior, Tabard just gets uglier and uglier, and the two houses are still friends only because one Tabard VIP has slept with everyone in Phi Delt's junior class. Maybe that's true, but it still doesn't excuse the fellas' poor domestication skills, which were on full display when certain members pissed in Tabard's oven. Boys, you can't cook urine, even when you're in drag.
On St. Patrick's Day, tempers flared when one frustrated and belligerent senior Theta tried to tell two Wharton seniors to go back to Drexel. The boys actually go to Penn, but apparently that didn't help their weak fight lingo. "Shut up, Jew," was rebutted with "Who the fuck majors in OPIM? That is such a gay major!" With language like that, I almost wish I did go to Drexel. Whartonites take note: apparently homophobia is in, anti-Semitism is not. While the coed street brawl I had hoped for never materialized, I did take pleasure in overhearing "This better make it into the Street Sweeper."
Meanwhile, an Ex-Theos prez also found himself in a lucky three-way situation, but feared no one would believe it. Good point. If you ask me, that's a good enough excuse to let a friend watch.
A few Wharton freshies learned a lesson about greed this past Thursday at Denim. When ex-high school track star/Facebook-blogging Tucker Max-wannabe and cohort expressed their dissatisfaction with service by stealing three additional bottles from the bar, club bouncers sent them packing, leaving the third member of their party to foot the bill. When the disgruntled Euro-Penner finally found his tablemates outside the quad later, the Spectra guard manning the gates was forced to call for backup, and it took three cop cars to break up what one bystander called "a white boy mob fight."
Love is in the air this spring, as junior Theta and boyfriend of sixteen months returned from Hawaii with not one but two Facebook albums to add to the twelve already posted. Loyal fans wonder who exactly took the eight hundred and forty pictures of the two of them making out, and when they had time to take them in between his daily commute to and from Lehman in NY. Anyone want to take a wager on how long it takes them to block their profiles? I've got a G on 24 hours or less.
Spring Fling fever is in the air, and things are bound to get hot. But children beware: the Sweeper is always watching...
