Flatulent Felines, Comedy Gold
Arj Barker Helium Comedy Club 2031 Sansom St. Thu, 8 p.m.; Fri-Sat, 8 p.m. & 10:30 p.m.; $20-24 (215) 496-9001 www.heliumcomedy.com If you are a frequenter of the glorious channel 44, you may have come upon the Comedy Central Presents episode highlighting the California-raised comedian, Arj Barker. Described as an observational comedian, the same classification one might give Jerry Seinfeld, Barker is starting to make a name for himself. Not only has he proved to be funny in person, appearing on Comedy Central and Late Night with Conan O'Brien, but his personal Web site arjbarker.com is entertaining, too. From his blog, "Tales from the Barkside," to the Barkives, a collection of pictures and posters, the site has it all. There's also episodes of Barker's own series, The Arj and Poopy Show, which stars him and his farting cat, Poopy. For those of you who have not lost your fourth-grade sense of humor, this may be the perfect comedian for you. Head to the Helium Comedy Club for Arj Barker's hilarious stand-up act, and don't worry, the club will smell just fine. He promises Poopy won't be there. -Lauren Talman
Brought To You By The Letter "%$#&*
Sesame Street Live Temple University, Licouras Center 1776 N. Broad St. Thu, 7 p.m.; Fri, 10:30 a.m. & 7 p.m.; Sat, 10:30 a.m. & 2 p.m.; Sun, 2 p.m. & 5:30 p.m.; $14-40 (800) 298-4200 www.liacourascenter.com
Who doesn't love a trip down memory lane? While you may be surprised with what you discover looking back at Sesame Street from your matured perspective - Bert and Ernie seem kinda gay, Cookie Monster eats super-healthy celery, Snuffleupagus doesn't actually exist - don't let your newly acquired wisdom prevent you from indulging your inner child at Sesame Street Live. You know you still sing "Rubber Ducky" in the bathtub. Not to mention, the event is a great way for us Penn students to get to know our neighbors at Temple - something I know we've all been dying to do. Just don't go all Oscar the Grouch on those Owls. Translation: refrain from throwing garbage. After all, the Sesame mantra is "C is for cookie and that's good enough for me," which totally implies intercollegiate peace. So go ahead, parade your love of Big Bird for all of Temple to see. Just remember to play nice. -Katie Karas
Put your junk in the box
Sparks Dance Co. Iron Gate Theater 37th & Chestnut St. Fri-Sat, 8 p.m., $7-8 www.sparksdancecompany.com There are so many things you can put in a box - and I'm not just talking about JT's manhood or Bunny's muffin. In their upcoming spring show, Sparks Dance Company is set to prove tjat there's room for "Sparks in a Box" too. Founded in 1989, the Sparks Dance Company has made it its mission to give back to the community. From its Emily Sachs Dance Benefit to contributions to the Salvation Army and Ronald McDonald House throughout the year, the company members have proven the size of their hearts. And they have skillz to match. Dancers in the company perform a wide range of dance styles including ballet, tap, jazz, hip hop, modern, lyrical and character ... That's what I call talent! Why not give back to a group of people who have given so much? Pirouette your way over to the Iron Gate Theatre and watch "Sparks in a Box." -L.T.
Headbangers' Ball
Rockstar Taste of Chaos Tour Tweeter Center 1 Harbour Blvd, Camden Tue, 6 p.m., $27.75 (856) 365-1300 www.livenation.com
Holy post-hardcore rock bands, Batman! The Taste of Chaos Tour, founded in 2004, is Warped's surly older brother who curses like a sailor, has greasy hair and rarely showers. But we love him anyway, mostly because he will break our jaws if we don't say that. J/K, bro! Headlining this year's tour is Taste of Chaos veteran band The Used. Word is that they are one of the top five smelliest bands in rock music today, but of course that point is offset by their lead singer Bert McCracken's awesome name. McCracken! It should be an adjective. That's so McCracken. Bert and his boys are foul-mouthed Utah natives sure to make you mosh until you vomit. Joining them will be 30 Seconds to Mars (a.k.a. Jared Leto and some other dudes), Senses Fail, Saosin, Chiodos, Aiden and Evaline. All are considered unparalleled for their innovations in both loudness and male eyeliner-wearing. -Heather Schwedel
You Tarzan, Me Jane
Defending the Caveman Kimmel Center, Innovation Studio 260 S. Broad St. Thu-Fri, 8 p.m.; Sat, 5 p.m. & 8 p.m.; Sun, 3 p.m. & 7 p.m.; $47 (215) 893-1999 www.kimmelcenter.org Women are from Mars, men are from Venus. Or is it men are from Mars, women are from Venus? Either way, the gender gap sometimes seems millions of miles wide. It's easy to see evidence of the misunderstanding between men and women when eavesdropping on everyday conversations. Susie on her cell phone might claim, "He just doesn't understand me," while badass Tommy might ask "Why you gotta be so needy, girl?" It's just a fact of life (and anatomy) that men and women are different. Vince Valentine, a Philadelphia native, explores this idea in his Broadway solo act, Defending the Caveman. A world-wide phenomenon, Valentine's show promises to have both men and women rolling on the floor with laughter and recognition. So grab your honey, head to the Kimmel Center and get ready for an entertaining night (Susie and Tommy will be there!). -L.T.
