A 46-year-old Floridian businessman was convicted Friday of molesting a young girl sitting next to him on an airplane. The man is hoping to limit his sentence, saying in his defense, "I thought it was a smoke detector."
According to scientists, a bionic eye that can restore sight to the blind should be available within two years. Seeing-eye dogs fear changing economy, rebel by leading owners into moving traffic.
Sylvester Stallone was detained in an Australian airport after prohibited items were found in his bags. Contraband consisted of lighters, kilo of coke and Rambo II DVDs.
The Spice Girls are asking $5 million each to get back together for a tour. Late 1990s wants $6 million for resultant slander of public image.
A New York man also wants $5 million - from IBM, who fired him after he visited adult chat rooms at work. Money to be spent on lifetime supply of lubricant, synthetic vagina.
84-year-old Oregon grandmother was arrested for having sex with her eleven-year-old foster child. Kid raves to friends: "Best gum-job ever."
As if you didn't already know, Britney Spears is now a skinhead, shaving her head a day after checking into and then out of rehab. Too bad her problems are cocaine and a broken marriage - not cancer.
And finally, the House of Representatives passed a non-binding resolution that rejected President Bush's 21,500-troop buildup in Iraq. Bleeding hearts in America: moral victory. Bleeding hearts in Iraq: still bleeding.
A 70-year-old man was found dead in front of his TV, more than a year after he died. Hey, has anyone seen Jim Newell?
