As Valentine's Day approaches, I, like all men, agonize over what to get for my special lady friend. At this point chocolates, flowers or sexy underthings are all played out. With that in mind, I've set out to give my girl that extra special, elusive present: an orgasm.
Sadly, this is one case for guys where it's not the thought that counts. I can already hear the ladies laughing. But, seriously girls, you should recognize that it's not as easy as it seems.
Contrary to the simplicity of the male genitalia, the female anatomy has confounded men for generations. In fact, it's only recently that we even started to give a fuck (no pun intended) about what went on down there for you. So, how about a little slack?
It's not easy you know. We've been indoctrinated with all sorts of nonsense. Whether it's porn stars going to town on vag like a Midwesterner at a pie-eating contest or bogus tips like tracing the alphabet with our tongue, how are we supposed to know how to get the job done right?
Meanwhile, it's not helping when you brag about your favorite new gadget that simultaneously vibrates, rotates and plugs into your iPod Nano.
So, before you dedicate your Valentine's Day to an L Word marathon capped with a vibrating afterparty, remember that progress has never come easy. But hopefully with a little patience, someday you will.
