You have to have plans for Valentine's Day. Everyone has plans. Me, I've got plans, too.

Every February, as Valentine's Day draws near, I find myself reminiscing about the men I've known (in the biblical sense, of course), not so much surveying my options for that particular saint's day as giving myself a big high five for my options of yore. College has been good to me. I've had my fair share of gentlemen callers, and they've assumed just about every form a lover can take: the one night stand, the two week stand, the ferreal boyfriend, et cetera et cetera. Point is, my vagina has experience, and with experience comes knowledge.

To be clear, my aim is not to paint myself as a regular Carrie Bradshaw; trust that having many lovers does not beget an understanding of the less fair sex - not in the least. What it does promote is an appreciation of the wide spectrum of sexual prowess stalking the dance floor on any given night. While I've had some incredible sex in my day, I've also heard the phrase "I know I wasn't any good, but you were amazing." Yah. Truth be told, it's a jungle out there, and for every tiger there's a kitten waiting in the wings.

So this Valentine's Day, I've got plans. I'm not planning on trolling the bars for a potential tiger, I'm not planning on going out to a consolatory dinner with my fellow sexy and single girlfriends, and I'm not planning on getting all hopped up on Jack Daniels and drunk-dialing my homme du jour. I'm planning on drinking a bottle of wine, popping in a Scrubs DVD, and cultivating my relationship with my vibrator. Because honestly, why roll the dice for a tiger when you can shack up with a constant and loyal Rabbit?