The Indianapolis Colts won the Super Bowl 29-17, amidst torrential downpour and the stench coming off Rex Grossman's right arm. Tony Dungy called the triumph a victory for Christian coaches everywhere, hugging Peyton Manning after the game and exclaiming, "You my cracker!"
Peyton, for his part, won the MVP. Regardless of whether he deserved the award or not, Eli Manning was spotted in the parking lot after the game committing seppuku.
And while the game was billed as a triumph for black people everywhere, Republicans are pleased that the lighter-skinned black coach emerged victorious.
In related news, an international group of scientists announced Friday that humans are "very likely" to blame for global warming. There remains a small chance that the culprits are in fact whales.
Speaking of bad weather, Chicago's had plenty, as a cold front dipped the wind chill to 30 below across the Midwest. Comparatively, Philly's winter has been mild, but Street's official position remains: fuck the high rises.
A Mexico City taxi driver is hoping to set the chili pepper-eating world record. Now if only they could get some tortillas.
A man wanted for his involvement in an Ecuadorian triple homicide was arrested in New York for allegedly not wearing his seat belt. Bloody machete and kilo of coke failed to tip officers.
And what is fast becoming a new Street tradition, we end our week with cheap Paris news: a new video from the collection unearthed by the Paris Exposed website was leaked, showing Paris calling some girl a "fucking hoodlum, broke poor bitch from, like, Compton." She later goes on to use the n-word and yells "Faggot!" Add that to the herpes, the sex tapes and the cocaine, and you get a pretty bad week for Ms. Hilton.
Paris' one high point this week came when Joe Francis, creator of Girls Gone Wild and a key player in many of the scandalous new Paris videos, went on Howard Stern to tell the world that Paris gives better blow jobs than Lindsay Lohan. Meanwhile, according to Francis, Tara Reid "just lays there." It is still unclear whether Reid's performance had anything to do with the roofies.
