PLASTIC Meryl Street, seen here sporting a smart, sophisticated purple sweater, shows just how fashionable eating plastic can be for the Spring 2007 season. Don't let anybody fool you, 50 is the new 30 on the Hollywood scene, and this cutie-patootie Hollywood gem shows just how to be a gastronomic guru. Combined with a sharp, conservative skirt and discreet stockings, Meryl demonstrates how easy it is to be stunning while chewing on a pair of eyeglass frames. Those smoldering eyes, that look, ready to pounce on the next hot co-actor that walks through his door- Watch out America, the newest trend in fashionista dining is here to stay!
(Warning: Consuming plastic can lead to gastric distress, esophageal shearing, bloody stools, and acute stomach pain. The FDA formally recommends against consuming any and all types of plastic. Please consult a doctor before consumption.)
HEALTH FOOD The refined palate doesn't settle for one-course meals. Even on set, Meryl displays her gilded, movie-star etiquette, here shown next to a delectable seven-course meal: carrots, cucumber salad, chopped beets, lima bean soup, squash, cole slaw and Uma Thurman. It's certainly a gluttonous spread, but the health theme trumps sheer volume and makes this meal a choice that's both tasty and intelligent. And while Meryl may play the therapist in this predictably shitty movie, there's nothing more therapeutic than licking and nibbling Uma Thurman from head to toe. Mmm mmm. Now if only Meryl could do something about that haircut.
HUMAN FLESH This winter, facial hair is in. Meryl, as always, is up on the times, and here we see her partaking in the seasonal trend by cannibalistically eating this Merry and Pippen look-alike. Note the soft approach she takes, taking the time to lightly caress the lips of her soon-to-be-victim. While he blindly paws at her breasts, Meryl maintains superior position by cradling Bilbo's head in her gentle, yet unforgiving hands. And as any seasoned cannibal will surely note, Meryl avoids rookie fashion mistakes, sporting a flimsy white shirt on which blood will be easily spotted. This little hobbit might have an erection right now, but it's gonna be a whole different story when Meryl heads down south and decides to use her teeth. Yum!
