Let's face it. If you're under 21, it's hard to get a drink in this city. What with bars and liquor stores adhering to strict no-minor policies, you'd think it was against the law for a kid to rightfully unwind at the end of the day. But fear not, young alcoholic. Procure yourself the right fake ID and U-City will show you plenty of brotherly love in return.
Marbar:
Marbar might as well be added to the NSO itinerary. Most nights all it takes to get in are pair of breasts or an Allen Iverson basketball card. The dance club is so generous in its admissions that chances are if anyone in here is actually 21, they're probably sexual predators. But freshmen beware! Last November, police conducted a sting, rounding up around 50 underage drinking citations in the infamous Marbar Massacre of 2005. You can bet that didn't look good the morning after.
43rd and Walnut Beer Shop:
Don't be intimidated when your ID gets photocopied at the door (the machine doesn't know you're not 26). Consider it an elaborate form of legal courtship: you give liability and in return the Beer Shop gives you as much alcohol as you can carry back to the Quad.
Smokey Joe's:
In general, not the best place to pull out your older sister's expired library card. Not only is the line running out the door ripe with potential humiliation, but also the bouncers have been known to occasionally pull out a full-fledged ID scanner. What you might not know is that the bouncers are a bunch of frat boys from the Castle. Sleep with the right people, and you're golden. Also, show up early enough and you can waltz right in. The doormen, after all, don't show up until they're finished pregaming at the chapter house.
Wine and Spirits:
The ultimate game of roulette. Sometimes I've been sold on the merit of being white and surviving the walk over, other times I've seen buddies' fake IDs get confiscated. But once you're in, oh lordy, this is the Santa's Workshop of alcohol.
